The text of the greeting card is as follows:
- Front Of Card:
- The many things you have done for me rival great feats in history: putting a man on the moon, nuclear power, and eating an entire watermelon in one sitting.
- Inside Of Card:
- Back Of Card:
- Some people just make a habit out of helping others. If you are lucky enough to be friends with those people, make sure you are continually bribing them to stay on their good side.