Spreckled Monkey Man Cards

Cards for the other half of the planet

  • Ugly Turkey

    It's a good thing turkeys are fairly ugly. Otherwise, we'd feel bad about eating their sweet and delicious turkey flesh.

  • Unicorn

    If a unicorn comes charging at you - horn first, don't just try to stand still and hope it didn't see you.

  • Whale Pond

    Loving you is as easy as spearing a whale in a pond

  • Beaver Taco

    I guess nature knows better than man, because no matter how hard one tries, you'll never get a beaver to eat a taco.

  • Cage Match

    We've been together all these years and not once have we had to settle an argument with a battle-to-the-death cage match.

  • Years Ago

    Many years ago on this very day, you were just exiting the birth canal.

Spreckled Monkey Man Cards, based out of Centreville VA, is the best and coolest greeting card company in the world. Sometimes it's tough to be a guy. From birth, you are expected to know how to throw a javelin, open every jar of pickled without 50 miles and have no qualms about killing small pests that disturb the delicate emotional balance of your loved ones. But there are some moments that bring out a deep dread and product a cold sweat for even the most hardened lumberjack - holding a baby for the first time, picking out the engagement ring, dealing with a hostage negotiation or event your first live bomb defusing. But worst of all is when it comes time to buy a card for those that you love. Every guy knows that the greeting card was an invention of women for women - and boy do they love their cards. For guys, it's different. They are lost in the card selection, struggling to find the card that speaks to them, to their situation, and to what they are looking to say. You don't want flowers and ridiculous pictures of animals. Sure you could close your eyes and pick out a terrible card at random - after all, what difference does it make? They are all the same, aren't they? Not anymore. Welcome to Spreckled Monkey Man Cards. Why another greeting card? Well, simple put - for guys, buying cards sucks. I don't mean like "pebble in the show while on a hike" suck. No, I mean like "falling into a vat of honey at a bee convention" suck. Sure, you have to buy cards from time to time, but it certainly isn't easy. Don't guys have the right to have fun card shopping too? We believe that a true man isn't about being simple singed or filled with crass humor. men at their best at funny, honest, strong, sincere and clever - and we believe that spirit should be fostered. As suck, 10% of all proceeds go to charities that help boys grow into men - just like our own Luke, Kyle and the rest of the gang.